So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
