what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
