lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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