so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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