i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
