guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I feel great
I just peed on a car
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
