everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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