I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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