i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
