and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
