Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
