You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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