remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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