how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
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