jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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