fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
