So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
