this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
