did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
