A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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