You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
