Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
