"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
