Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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