everyone is single if you try hard enough
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
