I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
