if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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