Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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