Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
