In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
