Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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