My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
