Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
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