I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
