i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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