Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
