After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
