sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
