Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
