So drunk its hurt
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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