I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
