And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
