I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
