Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
you win again, gameday.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
