I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Randomize
