Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
