I'm going to jail i love you
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
