this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
