I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
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