my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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